Friday, July 29, 2005

To shake or not to shake......

A couple of years ago the city of Toronto was virtually shut down to everything because of a deadly Asian illness called Severe Acute Respitory Syndrome better known as SARS. I'm sure most of the world has heard of this deadly disease and know that it is a pnumonia like respiratory illness that kills. Thankfully we live about 30 minutes from the city and my little family of loved ones (friends included) had absolutely no reason to go into the city. Toronto and all the surrounding areas (us included) were deeply affected by the resulting quarentines. Everywhere you went if you dared to venture out you saw people wearing surgical masks, gloves. Most major events were cancelled, I mean really, who wants to visit a city that has an outbreak happening? To this day Hospitals and Dr.'s offices still ask you to use antibacterial lotion on your hands when you arrive to help avoid the spread of germs as many illnesses and other "niceties" can be spread by the mere shake of a hand and this leads me to my dilemma....

Last Tuesday we played pool and when it was time for me to play my opponent announced that he had to use the men's room. No problem I'll wait...take a few practice shots, warm up a little, no problem. My opponent was very quick with his business! He was back at the table in no time. The very first thought in my head was....yup you guessed it..Did he even wash his hands? Normally I wouldn't even think about this but frankly it's pool etiquette to shake your opponents hand before beginning a match and I was a little leary. The following conversation went like this..

Him: "Hi, I'm Frank" (holding out hand to shake)
Me: "Hi, Nice to meet you Frank, I'm Linda. Did you wash your hands when you were done?"
Him: "Excuse me?" (really stupid look on face)
Me: "Did you wash your hands?"
Him: chuckle..."well my mother taught me not to pee on my hands so no I didn't.."
Me: totally disgusted look on face..."Really, we won't be shaking hands tonight sorry"
Him: nervous chuckle.."really I didn't pee on my hands!"
Me: "I'm sure you didn't but I don't wanna shake hands with you if the last thing you touched is your penis. Get my drift!"

Anyway, this was followed by a few awkward moments but a good game ensued. He kicked my ass on the table but thankfully I never shook hands with him...I think he understood my reasons.

Would you have shook his hand?
Thursday, July 28, 2005

Such is the Donk(ey) that is mine

Last night after work DD#2 and I decided to head out to Home Depot and check out the paint chips. It's been a good summer so far and the only TV we've managed to watch have been "How to" type shows that get your juices flowing about home improvements. Six years ago when we moved into our humble abode, the last owner had lovingly decorated every room of the house and frankly its only been the last six months or so that have caused me angst. Now I need a change and everyone in the house should jump on board I think!

Anyway, after spending an hour in HD, we finally agreed on colours for all the main rooms of our house. Suprisingly DD#2 and I have very much the same tastes....she just didn't know it. So with colours chosen we head home to present to the other members of the household, being DD#1 and DH.(DD#3 has chosen to spend most of her time at a friends and she hasn't been around so she gets no vote!)

Jennifer looks at the paint chips and agrees that she likes the colours. Her only concern is that she has a wedding and can't be involved until Sunday. To this I respond no problem, we can start without you...

Rob on the other hand has just dragged his ass out of bed (he works night shift and sleeps during day) and he is cranky! Never mess with a man that looks like he just went 10 rounds with the sleep fairy! He looked at the colours and grunted. I decide that I will take that as "The colours are great honey! Good choices...when do we start?" Aimee, Jennifer and I start discussing what we can do and where we will start when Rob declares that we will start in the upstairs bathroom. Now don't get me wrong, it all has to be done but the upstairs bathroom? I'm seeing that room twice a shower and get ready in the am and in the pm to get ready for bed..WHY in hell would you start there? That's kind of like putting a front porch on our house instead of finishing the basement (that truly is a blog for another day, one blood pressure raising story per day is all I can handle)

So, I ask the question again...Why the upstairs bathroom..I mean really nobody sees that room and if we are going to be doing this in stages wouldn't we want to start with the most public places of our home that guest would see...after that reasonable statement I thought I would get a whole hearted agreement and what I really got was a resonating "NO,I really am sick of that bathroom upstairs and that's what I'm gonna start with".

Carry on Sir.....I'll get you the fricking paint for the bathroom...but it better be done, painted and dry by the time the girls and I want to shower off the remains of our day painting the Dining Room, Living room...etc!

All Aimee had to say was this: "Did you know you married such a DONK?

Yeah, stubborn mulehead...I knew and such is the Donk that is mine.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Kinda Smart???

I must say that frustrations and schedule of daily life have gotten in the way of daily blogging and updating. This also adds to the frustration, but I did find this little quiz that made me laugh!

The Stupid Quiz said I am "Kinda Smart, but Stupid!" How stupid are you? Click here to find out!

So I guess 50% is better than nothing....kind of like the glass is half full/empty theory.
Friday, July 22, 2005

YAY YAY Sister Friends!

Yay, I found another reason to be happy on this wonderful Friday. A great group of Ladies have given me the honour of allowing me to join their blogging community! Despite the fact that I don't always have something particularily witty or deep to blog about, I will make an effort to send prayers and good thoughts to those in need see Karan's site (she could use all your prayers) and contribute wherever I can. Sometime's I feel a warm wish or a kind word is all that is needed.

YAY YAY for Sister Friends!

Yay it's Friday!

It's Friday!

I awoke with a smile at the thought. Aimee and I will treat ourselves to lunch somewhere cheap to break up the day and help to speed it on!

Have a great weekend!
Thursday, July 21, 2005

It's been a long week and it's only Thursday

Why is it that the first week back after vacation is always so long? OMG the days go on and on like a bad date!

Speaking of dates, one of my good friends has just re-entered the dating scene. My friend looks a LOT like Barbie. Blonde hair, the perfect proportioned figure and a bubbly if not drama queen like personality. She resembles Barbie in many other ways as well. She is a shop-aholic! This woman has a wardrobe that fills a full dressing room and two closets besides. She has more shoes than Imelda Marcos! Anyhow, she met a man two Sundays ago at some over 30's dance club and immediately took a shine to him. Last week she was over the moon and this week when I asked she told me "I'm not waiting around for some stupid man!" I guess he never called her back....and so the roller coaster begins..

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah the long dreadful week! I need it to end. I've had more frustating events unfold this week, events that have sent me to the Workopolis site routinely and there doesn't seem to anything out there....

I can't concentrate on anything! I hate my job this week and today I hate my life!

OMG, make it FRIDAY! That's what I need, a new day that ends with something good happening, like the weekend!
Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Scary Shit in our world!

I rarely read anything other than the business section of our newspaper and I only do that because of work. Last week when I was on vacation, I can honestly tell you I never opened the paper.
On Friday, I stopped in at the office to check in with the boss before he went on his 2 week vacation and heard some of the ladies discussing a recent homicide in our quaint little town (only the second this year). This one peaked my interest and actually gave my heart a little jump. Apparently, a dismembered body was found in an apartment building on Mom's street. There are three buildings there and my first thought was for my Mom.

I mean really, did I think it could be my Mom?
Did I think my Dad could have lost his mind in this God foresaken heat?

Hmmm, maybe...nah never! What would he do without my Mom. Hell he'd have nobody in close proximity to tell his stories too! He's a real smart guy and he would never cut off his lifeline like that. So, I know this sounds uncaring but I didn't even check to make sure Mom was okay. I couldn't actually confirm that all was well until yesterday when she signed on MSN Messenger. I did however, check details in the paper to confirm my father's sanity and discovered that it was some 28 year old fucktard that killed his sister, cut her up into pieces (rumoured around 40 pieces) and let her rot. He apparently became concerned only when someone from building management came knocking on the door about the complaints for the reek. He told them he was cooking burgers and the meat was bad....hmmm...not so much! Apparently the building chose to do nothing, but the neighbour (a physician) decided that he was "on a scale from 1-10, about a 7" certain that something was very wrong next door. At least that was what he told the police when they interviewed him. Anyway, fucktard was arrested. No details about anything, except him being charged, have been released to our sleepy little town of 200,000+ people because that might bring down property values, make us informed citizens or some shit like that. It's actually amazing it made the paper at all, I hadn't heard about the first homicide!
In some ways this makes me happy. I can continue to know that there is real scary shit in our world, (like Bernardo and that BIOTCH Homolka, kids that kill other kids, sectors of people that feel its okay to kill innocent bystanders in the name of some faith or country) and feel completely insulated from all of that because our local rag only reports on the good stuff happening in town and that should somehow keep us kind of safe....shouldn't it?

Back to Work....

"Back to Work" just doesn't hold the same meaning as the words "Back to School". I remember being a kid and about mid-August thinking "OMG, it's almost time to go back to school, I can't wait to see my friends, get new school supplies, new clothes, start new classes..." Back then it was all about new beginnings. Now coming back to work is all about, work left undone before you left that has to be done, new NOTHING, except more work. There are generally no new challenges and co-workers don't change while you are gone for a week. Those that are PITA's are still PITA's (pain in the ass, for all those new to my blog) and those that are okay are still okay. There is just no excitement in coming back. In fact I just want to go on holidays again...

My holiday was very nice. Days spent at the beach, at Ontario Place, going to the Drive-In and just generally hanging around the house with the DDs playing crib and relaxing. We ended it by going out with the wives of the Ball team boys and despite the massive age difference (most are about the same age as the DDs)we had a great time at the strip club. It was a great week and further details about the week can be found on Aimee's blog! Anyway, all this fun just makes going back to work that much more uninviting!

I didn't blog all week because any time spent near a computer makes it difficult for me to not remotely access work and it was my holiday after all. I know my weaknesses and remaining work email free for one week is definately a challenge! Anyway, work calls my name and I feel like I should answer since...I guess that's what they are paying me for.

For now I will spend my day-dreaming hours devising ways to extend the 4 weeks of vacation into more...winning the lottery would be a start!
Sunday, July 10, 2005

Service should be good at any time!

I have a pet peeve! I believe that anyone that chooses to work in an industry that requires working with the public should recognize the responsibility that goes along with that. Maybe there needs to be a "Service Industry 101" class that is mandatory before you start, kind of like WHIMIS (some class on hazardous materials that needs to be taken for anyone in a production/warehouse environment. This would seem reasonable, because in certain instances there could be hazardous meetings in public service! Take this instance for one....

Last night, DD#2 agreed to work as bartender for a friends private party. DD#2 hates people in general but is a great actress and as long as there is a counter, bar, table between her and the customer she could earn an Oscar. She worked in a coffee house for 4 years during highschool and her manager and her customers loved her. This gig was basically done as a favour and required her to be at the event a couple of city's over until around midnight, so this is where I come in....Mom needed to go get her silly ass and bring her home, which since I got the new car, is a breeze and I didn't mind doing. I considered it my donation to the mutual friend's event. Okay so you get the picture, it's late and Aimee and I decide to go to the local Tim Horton's for an Iced Capuccino for her and a Decaf coffee for me. The plan is to take these drinks and head home for a chat and a game of crib to wind down before bed.

Drive Through Lady: Welcome to Tim Horton's. Can I help you
Me (through open window tee hee): Hi, I'd like a small iced cap and a XL Decaf Coffee with 3 creams.
DTL: we don't have decaf coffee, do you want something else?
Me: It's midnight, you don't have decaf coffee?
DTL: no do you want something else?
Me: I guess I'll have regular coffee.
Aimee in background: Tell her to get off her lazy ass and make a pot of decaf, no decaf at midnight, what the hell is that! You've got to be kidding, this is ridiculous! Mom, seriously, if it was me, I'd have made only decaf coffee and those that wanted regular would get decaf and wouldn't know the difference. I used to do it all the time. You don't notice that you aren't getting the caffeine but you do notice if you are. I used to do it all the time and my customers never knew the difference. Tell her to make you a pot!
so we drive to the window.....
DTL: That will be $3.28
Me: So why do you not have decaf? Should I not be able to get what I ask for?
DTL: Well I could make you some I guess... but I don't want to waste a whole pot of coffee if you are the only person that come through here asking for it.
Me: But really, I don't understand, You do have decaf you just didn't want to make it?
DTL: I can make it for you but it will take 3 or 4 minutes for the pot to brew
Me: Well maybe if you had offered to make a pot when I was at the pole back there 5 minutes ago ordering I would have said yes but dammit you didn't even offer and that's just bad service! So thanks for the offer , a little late but never mind, Just give me the coffee that's ready and I'll leave now. (In my head....I think I'm just gonna lodge a complaint to the head office which happens to be right here in my fine Town and find out what the policy is on this!)
DTL: Sure, whatever!
Me: Have a great night...dumbass!

I dunno, I guess I'm just old and cranky and come from a time where "the customer is always right" and "service with a smile" were mottos. Now I guess not so much! But for me they will always be my expectation when going into a store or coffee shop and I think I passed this on to my Girls cause Aimee was just as insulted!

Hmmmm....Monday I'm on holidays and will have lots of time to make some calls! Fun, a little controversy to start off the week!

Friday, July 08, 2005

Fabulous Fridays!

I love Friday's. I especially love Fridays just before long weekends or vacations!

THIS is my Friday before vacation! YAAAAY!!!!!

Next week I plan to take my DD's on day trips. We're planning a day at Ontario Place. A couple of days at some local beachs for fun in the sun. A day to Mennonite Country to visit the farmer's market and a day to take the youngest into Toronto to hang out on Yonge Street and experience the wonderful feeling of going into a big city and realizing that everyone just does what they wanna do. It's awe inspiring to me to see people dressed in what they wanna wear, makeup how they wanna wear it and hair done to their own funky taste. Sometimes the combinations are just so wild and it makes me feel like I want to be just a little less conservative. I know that initially Brianne will feel overwhelmed because we come from a very conservative town that frowns on self -expression. Hell we don't even have a strip-club within our city limits! I know we see it on TV and frankly we have the odd person in town that doesn't give a flying fuck about what anybody thinks but in Toronto people have a greater sense of self. Rob (DH) wouldn't say so. He's from Los Angeles and he thinks that all the kids are strictly wanna be's and when it comes down to it, they too will conform like the rest of us. I guess conforming is part of life, kind of like growing old and dying...just something you gotta do.

Anyway, I'm so excited about my week of holidays! A whole week of resting, relaxing and fun. I'm reading "The DaVinci Code" non-stop, uninterrupted blissful reading!(hopefully the library will have it in) It took me 3 days to read "Angels and Demons" and that was only because apparently they expect me to go to work every damn day! Something about a paycheque..I dunno...I was consumed by thoughts of the Illuminati! Anyway if anybody is interested..wonderful book a combination of science meets religion meets action meets suspense...OMG it was wonderful!

I think I'm gonna try SPF (Stuff Portrait Fridays). This is a fun concept that got started at one of my favorite spots. Kristine takes the most beautiful pictures and if you have a moment check it out.
Thursday, July 07, 2005


My alarm went off this morning with little surprise. It does every morning unfailingly! Showered, dressed and watered off I go to my daily routine. For a change this morning I turned to our local talk radio and the first thing I hear is about terrorist attacks in London,England.

I almost threw up!

One of my dearest friends is currently in London, (maybe, when he's on the road we don't talk that much and I can't remember if he said he was leaving yesterday or today) Dammit, what a time for my weakening memory to completely fail me!

Mark if you are home please let me know and Kate if you read this and his ass is home in bed,catching up on much jet lag please let me know!

I can't imagine how people in London feel knowing that their loved ones are out there, possible victims to some dumbass terrorist's idea of retribution for the sins of who knows what! All I know is that I cried on Sept 11 and I cried again this morning! It's a painful knowledge that innocent people, somebodies Mother, Father, Sister, Brother will not go home tonight!

It's a big bad world out there and most days I'm able to end the day with a smile on my face, thankful for everything I have and all the things that I can work towards in the morning!
Peace Folks! Hugs!
Mark and the prayers are with you! Be SAFE!
Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Hurray!!!! Gotta love a good win!

OMG we had such a fricking great night tonight! Our men of Summer (DH's beer ball team)had a nine pm game. AND THEY WON!! Score Good Guys 18, Bad Guys (the jackasses that win the whole thing most years) 15 (see stats at This was an exciting victory!! Damn was there a case of beer on this one????
MVP goes to our star Pitcher tonight! 7 Strike outs! Yay Ralph! Everyone was hitting and all played well and the fans cheered relentlessly!

Anyway,I hate late games! DH works nights and he really feels guilty taking time off work (which his work allows) to play ball and his guilt is doubled when he thinks his boys might just need him. DH's inconsistent bunting (that's what we call his type of hitting, tee hee)and his commitment to his guys (running to first is a commitment for him!) put him in an unenviable state that we his loving family insist on helping him out with by going to the games to watch, keep score, and yell at the guys to get "Your heads outta your asses" and "Just play the game, you're old! You are not SUPERSTARS!. This is definately my type of encouragement and it works much better than the kind words of encouragement that must be used with small easily influenced children around! Over the years the bulk of our games have been Sunday afternoons or 7pm on Monday or Tuesday. Only a few of these late night games get tossed in to upset the fans, having young school aged children makes it difficult for the whole family to come out and cheer on the men. This puts a heavy burden on the Fat Chick (me) and her offspring (the 3 DD's)! Trying to keep the guys pumped up and keep score and remain relatively unoffensive (a chore at best for me, some nights!) DH is a commited kind of guy and he's been playing with the same base gang for a few years now. The men are wonderfully funny and they have great families that over the years we've come to know and love!
If you check out the website you'll see pics of all the guys and their fans! Check it out and pray for our Boys of Summer to improve their win/loss ratio!

Wonderful Weekends

In some ways I'm a very lucky girl and the industry I work in allows me some special fun. I get to enjoy some time off on Canadian holidays and US holidays as well. This weekend was a real good one! On Friday it was Canada Day (celebration of Canada's B-day for all that may be wondering) and independence Day on Monday for the US. In recognition of these two holidays I got an extra long weekend. Yay for me!! To make it even more special (tee hee) DH went away with his buddies for another weekend of drishing (drinking and fishing) There is just something extra special about spending time with my girls!

To start off the weekend, I was lucky enough to win 4 passes from a local radio station (thanks CHFI 98.1) to the Canada Dry Festival of Fire, (fireworks competition held at Ontario Place) and DD's #2 and #3 and my good friend Colleen headed off to a rooftop party to enjoy the show. OMG it was so cold up there!!!! Being on the rooftop, next to Lake Ontario on July 1st should have been a much more pleasant experience! It would have been the best if I had thought to bring blankets and long underwear! The fireworks display was a presentation set to music of many famous Canadians in honour of Canada's 138th Birthday and it was absolutely breathtaking! I've seen some spectacular shows before but seeing something synchronized to well known and loved music is absolutely AMAZING!

On Saturday, I spent time in my favorite relaxing past time, yup you guessed it the Bingo Hall! I was lucky enough to break even and win enough to cover all three sessions I sat through! I really wish that it could have been more. I went with a budget for one Bingo and won enough to stay for a sencond, then same thing, enough for a third and at the third I won enough to give me some scratch for the Casino the next day.

On Sunday, I had plans to join a friend on a road trip to Casino Rama for a concert. When my friend called to ask me to join her, I agreed reluctantly because I had never heard of the artist. That's probably because the artist was really a songwriter. Actually a very talented songwriter! When she told me, Carole King..I thought African/American Motown singer....I could not have been further from wrong. 63 year old Blonde Hot Mama, with a whole bunch of talent. Night was truly enjoyable and the venue had the best acoustics I've ever heard for that size of location. Honestly we could hear this woman breathe! It was a great show.

Monday I lounged and got ready to return to work and frankly I need a holiday.
Today is Tuesday and all I wanna do is go back to my house and hide. I don't wanna talk to nobody and I certainly don't wanna work.

I think I'm in need of a pick me up and shake the shit outta me!