Friday, May 03, 2013

Life's Mysterious turns......

It's May 2013.  I turned 50 in March.   My eldest turned 31 in April and announced that she is pregnant with grand baby number 2!!  My middle daughter will turn 30 in a few days.  All of these things have transpired and I have managed to maintain my composure about turning 50.

On April 10th I got hit with the biggest change I have ever faced!  At 10 am on that morning I found myself unemployed after 13 years with the same company.  Not only did they tell me that they had to let me go they actually waited while I packed up my desk, took my keys and passkey and then walked me to the door.  I took my stuff and went home. 

Now don't get me wrong, they were fair in the severance package that they gave me and we'll be okay for a bit but here is my dilemma....

50 years old
no university education
and last but not least......I don't really know what I want to do with this next stage of my career.

I realize that I am defined by what I am.

I am a Mother
I am a Grandmother
I am a Wife
I am a Friend

I am unemployed!

I realize as I sit with Head Hunters, Directors of Human Resources; as I try and explain what I did for 20 years in my industry that maybe what I did is not what I want to do with the rest of my career.  But what  do I want to do?  It's been 20 years since I had to seriously consider what was in my resume.  Creating two pages that will speak to the many accomplishments that I have had in the last 20 years is not easy.  It is not easy to write in accomplishments!  We are taught that we let those accomplishments speak for themselves.  We don't spew about ourselves that is bold and unattractive.  I could easily go on about my biggest accomplishments....my offspring!  I could go on for days!  Their accomplishments somehow feel like mine, like I had something to do with it just by being their mother.  I could go on about the awesome husband I have....like I picked him out of the world to be mine...never mind I did do that!  I could go on about being a friend...but that is not all about me because most of my friends are amazing and I am honoured that they choose to continue to call me a friend!

I am unemployed but I realize that this should not define me...it is not who or what I am!

It's is however, a truly humbling moment to submit resume after resume and not hear a single word....time to work on writing up those accomplishments....because truly there were many!  I am good at what I do and I'm sure that a door will open with a wonderful opportunity.  In the meantime I will treat this job search like a job and try and take some time off for good behaviour to enjoy the beautiful weather we are having!