How do we get ourselves into these messes?

Well, I wrote the damn exam and with pretty good certainty, I can honestly say I failed...How did I get myself into this mess? Now, not only do I doubt my own intelligence, I have to write the damn thing again on my own pennies ($100). This means I need to study some more and go through the stress of this whole thing again? And why? To prove to myself that I can do it.. Seriously people, nobody else really gives a damn! Two months from now no one will care that I didn't pass the damn exam!

Why do we feel obligated to do things that will cost us money and give us no joy....In fact they will cost us money that we don't have and make us bitter inside! I dare say nobody wants to admit they are truly flat out broke except to their dearest and closest and even then maybe not. Hell I never want people to know what a struggle I have had making ends meet! I want to be able to go out have a good time and pretend that real life is all being part of the Rich and Famous!!!
I know I'm not the only person that feels this way, many times I've heard friends say...dam I have to do this for this person or another and really I DON'T want to!

So from today....I say...NO MORE! I will only do things I want to do! I will never feel obligated to pretend again! I am not rich, I am not famous and to much to my own dismay...I probably won't ever win the lottery to change those two points!
I will write the dam exam though! That's purely a matter of pride now! I need to pass!
Ah (sigh)...gotta get some work done to earn my pay cheque...TTYL

Rewards are fun! (Even when it's other people getting them!)

Today I heard some amazing news that made me really warm and fuzzy! Someone that I have always liked, (never really had an opportunity to get to know that well)is embarking on the journey of a lifetime! I guess the reason it touched me so much that this person is experiencing this is because I have watched from the sidelines as this young,intelligent,beautiful girl has blossomed into a VERY bright, intelligent beautiful women, despite some pretty tough history that she chose to share with me one day on a short drive. When I spoke with her she explained it was their reward for hard work and sacrifice and can I tell you SHE deserves it! I had the opportunity to work with her and I can honestly say it was a pleasure. Anyway enough background now the funstuff! B&K (her hubby) are leaving for a 10-11 month trip around the world! HOW EXCITING IS THAT! I can only imagine the sites that they will see and experiences that they will share with people they meet along the way and with each other! For me, in my own little reality, I will live vicariously through her postings..I hope there will be many!
Other fun news....I bought the joys in my life (the daughters) their birthday presents for 2005. Once again the three of us will be doing a one day joint exciting adventure of our own!(just a little closer to home) We are going to experience Sylvia Browne! If you don't know who Sylvia Browne is then you won't understand and if you do know who she is....are you feeling the excitement!!!! I couldn't keep it to myself, I had to share with them! It was an early present for both of them but now the three of us have something to dream and giggle about whenever we want! So very fun!
Rewards are fun! So for all my friends and family, and anyone else that may come across this posting....Work hard and remember REWARDS ARE FUN when truly deserved!
TTYL

All the World's a Blog!

A coworker of mine sent me her link this morning...a new blog to read everyday. YAY! She comments in her blog that it seems like the new craze..well it's not so new, except to us Heather! And that's okay. I'm not the truly creative type, my blogs are simply about the humbling moments that I join together and call my life. I have always thought that we should all be humbled by the greatness that surrounds us. Much more is going on than just our little lives and our little problems. I draw strength everyday from the strength that my friends have!
Take my buddy Col, she is probably the STRONGEST most inspiring person I know....she has issues in her world, but don't we all! This is a lady that lives with health concerns everyday that would make some people want to fade out of existance...despite her health, Col is a great Mom to one, a step-Mom to another, a wonderful wife, a great daughter, sister, aunt and the very best listener that I've ever known! I'm so grateful for her friendship and for that friendship I hope that I too am the sounding board she needs when times seem overwhelming in her life! Col, I love you!!!
Another great influence in my life are my Daughters, Jenny,Aimee and Brianne. Each and every day of their lives I have drawn on their love for strength! They have given me hope for the future, strength to get up in the morning (even if it was because a diaper needed to be changed and a tummy needed to be fed) and a smile that warms my heart just thinking about them! They have given me a sense of pride that on most days overwhelms me! People tire of listening to my rambling diatribes of the wonders that are my girls! All three of them can make me cry as easily as they make me smile and I smile a heck of a lot! Each and everyone of my daughters has taught me a life lesson that without their existence I may not have experienced. They are all kind, gentle,beautiful and smart girls. Every day they make an impression in the world that makes it a better place to live. Girls, You are my world and I love you all THIS MUCH...............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well these are just some of the peeps in my life that make it all about Humbling Moments! TTYL!

Families Are Funny Aren't They!

This morning I got an email that seriously disturbed me. I always have had this fantastical thought that I come from a pretty close family...After this morning's email I realize that this is not the case. It's funny how an email with a simple baby picture can lead to the destruction of your concept of family relationship. I receive emails almost once a week from this cousin! Yes, I tell you, once a week, my cousin shares with me her latest repetoire of jokes...I mean really,let's face it, she comes from "The Great White North", where everything is at least 6 months behind so frankly there is never any new jokes...even some are repeats of stuff I sent her! Never once a mention of family, health, job or any other kind of news (a pet peeve of mine!)...suddenly this morning an email with pictures of her 3 1/2 month daughter! Yes...3 1/2 months old! How does one go 9 months + another 3 1/2 before announcing this blessed event! Were we waiting to see if she would be cute...SHE IS SO CUTE! I don't understand!!! I have other cousins that are far away and I never get anything more than a joke from them either! I have even gone so far as sending them an email updating what's going on in my little inconsequential world just to see what results I get! And the results are in: NADA-NOTHING-ZILCH! I don't know how we get so wrapped up in our own little worlds to the point where even an impersonal email update can't get sent say what?...once monthly to every family email address that we have...ah ha...maybe that's worth a shot...I'm gonna try that! The monthly family update to all those email addresses. It's gonna be a test to see how many people read the darn thing and see if anyone out there responds! I know that there will be some form of language barrier for some but I'll keep it simple at first and see how it goes..I mean they all speak english, surely there shouldn't be too much of a problem. I'll let you know how it goes! TTYL!

I'm sorry you missed me!....but I'm back

Well apparently my blogs have been missed....some of you will know that I've been absent from work studying for my upcoming Derivatives exam. Needless to say that has not been successful and partway through the week it became clear that my attempts to self-teach have been totally useless. After reading the text and doing specified exercises, I attempted the on-line quizzes and failed miserably. That really doesn't bode well for the final exam! Anyway around Thursday I was frustrated and disenchanted with myself and a little study bird gave me some very useful tools (thanks Aimee!) to help me enhance the learning process. So now we start over and hope that 2 weeks is enough time. So what did we miss in that week of educational hell???? I had a birthday! Yay 42 years old.....I celebrated a very quiet but nice birthday with good friends and family at Tucker's Market, followed by an early to bed, too full to even breath rest of the evening. Then study, study, study...fail, fail, fail....Then DH's birthday celebrations! DH turns 40 today.....To celebrate we went out to dinner on Friday with friends and family (Red Lobster yum yum), this was followed by an intimate family dinner on Saturday and drinks to follow at the local neighbourhood pub with all his buds! I think he had fun. I know he had a hangover on Sunday morning....does that equate to fun on Saturday night? So today I'm back at work and using my lunch hour to catch up my avid readers with the stories of the "days of my life". Aimee, thanks for the study tips again and thanks for coming home this past weekend! Have a great day everyone! TTYL

It pays to discuss your woes!

There we were on a normal Wednesday evening....one of my bestest buddies and I discussing the trials of the DH's (dearest husband's for those new to my blogs) This is a usual topic of discussion for Col and I and we do it very well...it's venting with a plan! Colleen is probably one of the only people I can vent to and she understands that I REALLY DO LOVE my DH, despite our seemingly endless tribulations. The recent topic of discussion for both of us this day is our DH's comfort in their current underpaid and unsatisfying job. Both seem reluctant to seek out the better job. What could be the reason for this you ask....well it's all about comfort and their talent and success in these go nowhere positions. Both of us understand our DH's desire to hear good things about their work (which they both do)and an encouraging word increases testosterone levels dramatically and fear of change is enough to send anybody (not just DH's) into a cubby hole. Both of them have had their share of bad luck with past jobs. So there they both are in jobs that although they really aren't well paid, nor are they particularily satisfied...but what they do get is the comfort of knowing they are doing a great job and making their employer happy. Anyway enough background....bottom line is someone with the potential to offer my DH a change with the potential for satisfaction, good pay and great benefits was listening and after discussion is willing to review DH's resume and possibly give him a chance! I'm very excited for him! He's very excited about it! It does have one drawback, but it's a drawback that solves other issues such as transportation for us! It's on the nightshift....but it's not a bad nightshift, if that makes any sense. The shift starts at 10 pm and ends at 6:30 am. Not bad because it really still allows us the opportunity to have dinner together, spend quality time together (no more or less than we get with our current schedule) and he can still play pool or baseball come summer as this company allows flex hours if required for exta curricular activities. ( a perk they offer to keep the guys happy on nightshift) So as long as it's not every night of the week, it's okay to be a little late if needed. DH can take our one vehicle to work and still be back in time for me to get to work when I have to. All around everyone is happy. Anyway..more new beginnings, how exciting! TTYL

It's all in the cards....Tarot Cards that is!

Imagine my excitement to be spending an afternoon going to a psychic party...have you ever heard of such a thing? I had never heard of anything like that. When the neighbour asked me if I would be interested I jumped at the opportunity to see if I was putting my stuff out into the world in such a way that it would come back to me through this person. After a very good week with the family (and yes some emotional times) I was truly looking forward to hearing what Joan (Psychic) would have to say. Joan had many things to say, and most of them were very positive.....As you know from previous blogs I made some pretty big decisions this past month and Joan confirms that I will be successful with both of them. Joan also tells me that some big changes will be happening about my housing situation (new house, renovations who knows?) Joan tells me that someone named Jack/John will be instrumental in a career move/change in the near future. So all pretty insiduous and very vague to say the least....this could have been anybodies reading until she told me that someone named Memere was watching over me and wanted me to know that she loved me! Now that is a not so common name to be pulling out of your hat....She so was talking straight at me! My maternal grandmother was reaching out to comfort me!!!! OMG can I tell you how much that meant to me! I think of my Grandmother often. I miss her ALOT! Although we didn't see each other often because we lived so far apart I always knew she was there and suddenly she wasn't. Well it's really nice to know that she is still there! Joan also told me she was watching over babies for me....that two was confirmation of something she would have no way of knowing. Joan tells me that there is wealth in my future. Not necessarily the kind of lottery wealth that most people dream of but perhaps steady wealth in the form of a full time permanent job for my DH. Anyway, all in all it was a very interesting reading in which I found out that I have Angels all around me and that I have a gentle soul....shhhhh don't tell anyone! Well time to get back to work. TTYL