Wednesday, July 31, 2019

End of Week 9 and July....

So turns out I'm more than half way through this 90 day "hell" (63days) and although it hasn't been all bad, i wouldn't recommend it for folks that lack willpower.   It's true I entered into this with high expectations that haven't really been met but I've only slipped once. I ate a raw mushroom on a Saturday night when i was home by myself.  I beat myself up about it for a couple of days and then honestly when I told my husband and he laughed till he cried... well, let's just say, I felt kind of silly!  If you know me you know I'm a rule follower in my old age.  Primarily this comes from years of bending the rules and nothing good coming from it and I really don't want to have to go through this again!  FUCK it's been hard and some days all I want to do is eat a damn loaded burger...or even a chicken Caesar salad or a carrot stick.

The posts on FB have been all about fun recipes lately and foods that I may never try because they look awesome but honestly I feel like probably not worth the calories.

Work has been keeping me busy and other things in my life have been somewhat frustrating but I've been good.  When I'm done the 90 days and get to taste real food i swear it will be the best 225 calories that I have ever tasted.  I'm certain of that!

This has been my other issue!  I need to share this...I went from having liquid in liquid out to nothing most of the time.  I think despite trying fibre stuff and then stool stopping that, then softener to reverse the fibre thing so stuff comes out I am quite literally full of 
Pile of Poo on Google Android 9.0

I feel like I am going to hate the program and the scale tonight because my poop chute is FULL and weighing me down!

On a good note...non scale victories are BP Meds down even further, belt is now on the last notch for tightening and insulin intake is down even more.  

Anyway, like i said it's weigh in day and hopefully the number is good to give me strength during this upcoming week at the cottage (where I usually eat and drink till I waddle like a penguin!)

Monday, July 15, 2019

Wow....things are moving along

This meme is a lesson I've been trying to teach myself over the last few weeks.  I've been so busy between work and this new little venture I've started and trying to make time to enjoy my husband, kids and grandkids that I've had to just breathe and let things fall into place and guess what.....


I need to remember that I can't be in control of everything and sometimes you just need to have faith that things will all work themselves out.

Hard to believe we are mid way through July and halfway through this shake journey!  I know I keep saying it but honestly time flies!  Doesn't matter if you are having fun it just seems to move so quickly! 

I continue to learn so much about myself in this weight loss journey!  I'm not really noticing the physical changes (except my pants falling to my ankles on occasion and a co-worker telling me i looked frumpy and wasn't allowed to wear a certain shirt to work anymore) and that's ok, because the big changes that aren't scale related are so much more important.  This week we cut down another medication by half!  I feel so much better...I am told daily that I'm glowing!  (no I'm not pregnant people!) 

I'm counting down the days to my first vacation for my Mom and I.  I can't wait to get away with her and visit my family in the great north!  It's going to be so relaxing and fun to see everyone!  Soon after we return we'll be counting down the time to leaving for Italy and that is a trip that I dream about at least 3 times a week. In my dreams I've thrown coins into the Trevi fountain, I've worn a flowy sundress and straw hat under the Tuscan sun and relaxed while being serenaded in a gondala in the Venetian canals...such fun!

Anyway, work is calling my name!

Have a great week! Until next time!

Monday, June 24, 2019

So bad thoughts can really come true.....

I called it...I knew it would happen and although I tried to be positive my worst thoughts came to fruition.  I think it's true that you can make shit happen in your head and your world cooperates!

Okay so what could be so bad you say...I only lost one f'ing pound that's what is bad!!  Seriously, in my head I get it the body is trying to hold on to what it has and is being stubborn but dammit all week with only water and shakes and one f'ing pound is all I lost!

Alright, I get that it's still one pound off and in my head I understand that makes 14lbs in 3 weeks...but seriously I came to realize that scale losses are a better motivation to keep moving forward than all that positive chit chat!   It has been a difficult week.  I have been fighting a cold or maybe allergies...whatever my body feels like shit.  All I've found myself doing is swearing and resenting that one pound loss.  I keep pushing through and never has one shake at a time meant more to me than this week!  

I'm not having a bad week....I'm having a character building week!  Let's hope that Wednesday's weigh in looks better than one pound!