How can you make an appointment for this?

My old girl LTD (leaky twat dog) (big dog on the right) has some serious health issues.

Last night we took the lovely lady for her regular checkup to our Vet. The Vet checked her out and basically decided that there would be no vaccines or heartworm meds for her this year. LTD has an enlarged heart, a very resonant heart murmur with serious arythmia problems. Along with this there is probably kidney issues that would make treatment of the above very difficult.

Now, don't get me wrong......we knew this was coming. The old girl is going on 13 years old, that's a lot of years in doggy speak. She's lost her hearing, she's losing her sight and this morning she lost her bowels all over my dining room floor. The stinky mud she left for clean up was riddled with blood.

When I called the Vet this morning to report this new condition he basically advised that there was no point in spending any money doing tests to determine that she was old and her body was failing her....this came with a further warning that things would only go down hill from here. The next step was to schedule a quiet time to come into the office with her and then determine if we wanted to have her ashes returned to us. He didn't talk cost....my guess it's very expensive and please don't make me out as a horrible person....but we are not having the dogs ashes in my house!

My poor husband and youngest daughter are totally distraught. I thought this would be easier for me....my attachment is more to the little dog....but I picked up the phone twice today to call and make the appointment and couldn't dial the number to do it. How the hell do you schedule something so final as a beloved pets death!

Damn it all.....I'll try again tomorrow! I'm supposed to be the strong one! Why am I having such a hard time with this? I think it might be because I love my hubby and kid so much that I hate to see them so upset and setting the date will just be like I'm doing this awful thing to them.

OMG...I never thought I would have such a problem with this! Maybe I really am just a big softie where the animals are concerned.