Linda, meet my Mother, Mom meet Linda

This is the story of how I met my Mother-in-law for the first time.

When Rob and I decided to announce our engagement and forthcoming wedding, I felt very strongly that I needed to meet his Mom. Rob's Dad had introduced us for heaven's sake! I felt it was only fair, that although Rob's Mom and Dad were separated and she didn't play a huge part in Rob's adult life, I wanted to meet the woman that had raised the man I loved!

We announced our engagement in August and set the date for the following August. Rob called his Mom on the phone and told her the good news. He invited her to come to our house for a BBQ on the following weekend. She politely declined claiming alternate plans and suggested that we look at our calendars and set another date. She would talk to Rob the following weekend. This went on for months! Thanksgiving came and went, invitation made and politely declined. The invitation for Christmas and New Years was met with a polite explanation of how she may go and spend the holidays with her brother's family in Florida. I was feeling like she just didn't want to meet me. Rob didn't seem to care and clearly stated that if he never saw her again it wouldn't be an issue as she had been a very difficult parent. (I'm softening this from what he actually said...he swore alot!) Anyway Rob's dad called shortly after Christmas and said that he was worried about his estranged wife! He had sent her money for Christmas and it was unlike her to not cash the cheques. We told him that we thought she was in Florida with her brother and he began to laugh. Apparently, there is no relationship between her and her brother and this could definatley not be. Dad tried calling her to find the phone disconnected. Apparently this was not uncommon for her. She was not the best bill payer and utilities often got cut off when Rob was a child. Dad called us back would we be willing to drive him to the nearby town to go and check on her. We agreed that the next Sunday would be the day that we make the trip. All that week I could only think about what I would wear, what I would say. My goodness I was going to meet my future Mother In Law. A most important occasion!

Finally Sunday arrived. We left our house to pick up Dad around 11 am. When we arrived at the Seniors apartment building to visit with Mom it became clear that you needed a phone to admit people into the building. We decided to buzz the superintendent to see if he would let us in. He kindly did so when we explained the situation. Up to the floor, knock on the door....again and again...no answer. Dammit, it's Sunday morning. Where could she be? Is she a churchgoer? According to Rob...Hell No, she's the devil incarnate, she wouldn't step foot in a church. More likely that she's in the bar across the street. Okay then, well lets go have a coffee and we'll wait. Back to the lobby.

So the lobby of this Seniors building is like that of most seniors buildings. Lots of shabby, comfy old furniture in the lounge, giving the old folks a relaxing place to gossip and play cards or whatever they do to occupy their time. One wall is covered in mail boxes and over the mailboxes is a sign that reads:

Please empty your mailboxes daily! The Postman is watching you!

So cute! So having a peek around I notice that Mom's mailbox is stuffed...and I mean stuffed with Mail. It's actually pushing out the small cracks in the front. Deep Breath, Warning bells...I'm getting nervous. I pulled Rob aside and told him what I saw and suggested that we ask the Super to let us into the apartment. After pointing out the collection of mail, the Super agreed to let us in. So up we go again.

The events that followed will stick in my mind forever and I think of them most everyday!

Door opens, Dad walks in, Rob walks in.

Rob: "Yup this is Mom's place. Look at this mess!"
Bert: "Yup you're right Rob...Sure glad I don't have to live with her anymore!"

I walk in, to the hallway, look down and scream!

Linda: "OMG somebody call an ambulance, she's dead!"
Dad: "No, No, Linda take it easy! It's just one of those mannequins, Dot collected all kinds of crap"....bending down to grab hand and show me.
Suddenly he realizes that I am right and he collapses.

Rob picks his Dad up and carries him to the hallway, the Super asks the lady across the hall to call the ambulance and police. I'm left standing there, just looking at her. Her hair is white (should have been red!) she is in her underwear and a t-shirt and the t-shirt is around her armpits, she has no teeth and a very odd look on her face. Not of pain but of confusion, like "what is happening". I start to cry.

Rob realizes that I haven't left the apartment and comes to get me. He sees me crying and trying to ease the moment proceeds to make "The Introduction"

Rob: "Linda, meet my Mother, Mom meet Linda."

We looked at each other and through the tears we laughed, just a little. Later that evening as we sat quietly at our kitchen table, Rob explained that he didn't know what to do at that moment. He couldn't bear to see me to cry over a women that he had so little feeling for. He explained that his Dad was his rock through his life and his Mom had always been a tiresome nagging screaming woman that did nothing but cause problems for him and his Dad. He thought he loved her but...well, sometimes it's very hard to love someone that hurt you so deeply. He said he just needed to see me smile and know that I would help him through that horrible moment!

We got through that day. We took Dad home and made calls to family. I arranged the funeral services and the final estate stuff which is a story for another blog, maybe tomorrow... And to this day anytime anyone starts to say "Linda meet ... all I can think of is the day I met my Mother in Law for the very first and only time.

TTYL