Mom...You are the best and I love you!!!!!
Tonight, my Mom came for a Girl's night. Generally we try and have these once a year and we always have a very enjoyable evening. It's a time for Mom and I and the DD's to spend some real quality time getting caught up on shit that is happening in our lives...deeper stuff, not just the superficial day to day I love you's.
In the past we've always gone to Moms house because she had the hottub and we chose a night when Dad was away with the boys golfing or whatever it is they do when they get together. Mom and Dad downsized last year and bought a condo here and a place in Florida and the hot tub at the condo is only for 2. So this year with DH off drishing (drinking/fishing predominately drinking) we decided to do it at my house.
The evening started off with a bottle of wine and great conversation...I always love this time when we can open up and share tidbits of our inner thoughts, hopes and plans for the future. Mom brought some shrimp marinating in ceasar salad dressing and garlic and we threw them on skewers and on to the BBQ, a great appetizer to our dinner which was also cooking on the barby, a cedar plank salmon and some marinated zucchini. Served up with Jasmine Rice and we have one heck of a dinner. YUM YUM!
Mom had told me about a PBS show that she had taped and asked if she could bring it for us to watch together. I'm all about learning more about me and agreed. The tape she brought was by a lady named Christiane Northrup and basically she was talking about Mother/Daughter relationships and the legacy that this relationship leaves and how to heal it if needed. Definitely a must see for anyone that has a Mother or is a Mother...
My realtionship with my parents has not always been all rosy. We've had our challenges..or I've been challenging. I was a more complex child than my younger brother and I led the way, as most oldest children do, into the world of testing a parents resolve. I always felt out of place in the family home..I always felt that my younger sibling was more loved than I was. This was probably not true. My baby brother (7 years my junior) was a much easier child than I ever was..he learned very early to not do as his older sister did! His sweet easy disposition made it easy to like him. I was a challenge that made life a lot rockier. In my defense I don't think that I was a bad kid...I was a hormonally imbalanced boy-crazy girl. My parents wanted to protect me from myself and I rebelled with a vengeance! Looking back I understand this. It has taken me many years to get to that place of understanding. To know that it was out of love that they used extreme measures of discipline (and yes I still think they were extreme!). I was growing up in the years when Tough Love was thought to be the answer to everything.
Christiane Northrup spoke about a number of things in this tape, but, I think the topic that touched me most was when she said we should ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness. Forgiving is very healing. My Mom said something after the tape that really took me back...she said that she had always hoped in her heart that I would realize and come to a better understanding when I had children of my own, that she did the best that she could with the tools that she had!
My dearest Mom, I do realize that and I understand that you raised me the best way you knew how!
As I entered into the world of parenting with my first baby girl, I promised her that she would never have to go through what I had gone through....looking back now I see that it was a promise that I would be unable to keep! Twelve months later her younger sister followed her into the world and there I was 20 years old making promises again that I wouldn't be able to keep. At 27, my youngest was born and I had, by then, realized that there was no sense making promises that I couldn't keep because I was finding out quickly that I couldn't protect my babies from everything in the world. I was realizing that I would have to let them venture into the world, make their mistakes and learn from them. Just as my Mother had done with me!
Now, as an adult I can look back and appreciate the tough job my folks had and enjoy the fact that we can be friends now after many years of self-exploration on my part.
I love our Girl's Nights, we always have a great time together. We share some great food, great conversation and wonderful laughs. This in itself is very healing.
I know that you will read this Mom, cause you always do! SO, I want you to know...
I love you very much and I thank you for all that you are!!!!
You truly are the best!!!!
HUGS and KISSES! L
In the past we've always gone to Moms house because she had the hottub and we chose a night when Dad was away with the boys golfing or whatever it is they do when they get together. Mom and Dad downsized last year and bought a condo here and a place in Florida and the hot tub at the condo is only for 2. So this year with DH off drishing (drinking/fishing predominately drinking) we decided to do it at my house.
The evening started off with a bottle of wine and great conversation...I always love this time when we can open up and share tidbits of our inner thoughts, hopes and plans for the future. Mom brought some shrimp marinating in ceasar salad dressing and garlic and we threw them on skewers and on to the BBQ, a great appetizer to our dinner which was also cooking on the barby, a cedar plank salmon and some marinated zucchini. Served up with Jasmine Rice and we have one heck of a dinner. YUM YUM!
Mom had told me about a PBS show that she had taped and asked if she could bring it for us to watch together. I'm all about learning more about me and agreed. The tape she brought was by a lady named Christiane Northrup and basically she was talking about Mother/Daughter relationships and the legacy that this relationship leaves and how to heal it if needed. Definitely a must see for anyone that has a Mother or is a Mother...
My realtionship with my parents has not always been all rosy. We've had our challenges..or I've been challenging. I was a more complex child than my younger brother and I led the way, as most oldest children do, into the world of testing a parents resolve. I always felt out of place in the family home..I always felt that my younger sibling was more loved than I was. This was probably not true. My baby brother (7 years my junior) was a much easier child than I ever was..he learned very early to not do as his older sister did! His sweet easy disposition made it easy to like him. I was a challenge that made life a lot rockier. In my defense I don't think that I was a bad kid...I was a hormonally imbalanced boy-crazy girl. My parents wanted to protect me from myself and I rebelled with a vengeance! Looking back I understand this. It has taken me many years to get to that place of understanding. To know that it was out of love that they used extreme measures of discipline (and yes I still think they were extreme!). I was growing up in the years when Tough Love was thought to be the answer to everything.
Christiane Northrup spoke about a number of things in this tape, but, I think the topic that touched me most was when she said we should ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness. Forgiving is very healing. My Mom said something after the tape that really took me back...she said that she had always hoped in her heart that I would realize and come to a better understanding when I had children of my own, that she did the best that she could with the tools that she had!
My dearest Mom, I do realize that and I understand that you raised me the best way you knew how!
As I entered into the world of parenting with my first baby girl, I promised her that she would never have to go through what I had gone through....looking back now I see that it was a promise that I would be unable to keep! Twelve months later her younger sister followed her into the world and there I was 20 years old making promises again that I wouldn't be able to keep. At 27, my youngest was born and I had, by then, realized that there was no sense making promises that I couldn't keep because I was finding out quickly that I couldn't protect my babies from everything in the world. I was realizing that I would have to let them venture into the world, make their mistakes and learn from them. Just as my Mother had done with me!
Now, as an adult I can look back and appreciate the tough job my folks had and enjoy the fact that we can be friends now after many years of self-exploration on my part.
I love our Girl's Nights, we always have a great time together. We share some great food, great conversation and wonderful laughs. This in itself is very healing.
I know that you will read this Mom, cause you always do! SO, I want you to know...
I love you very much and I thank you for all that you are!!!!
You truly are the best!!!!
HUGS and KISSES! L
posted by Anonymous at 1:44 am
1 Comments:
awwww, that was so sweet! Good job Linda.
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