Friendships.....
This week has been drama filled for me and not very pleasant. (hey now, it's my blog and I'll use it to vent if I want to!) Today I ponder the definition of friendship...What is the general, required obligation of a friend? Is it a friends duty to sit idley by with general enthusiasm while we watch the people we claim to love make decisions without exploring all of the possibilities? Is it a friends duty to laugh and smile and be excited to their face when on the inside you are scared to death that they are on their way to a world of hurt if they don't reflect on their choices before committing themselves? Hmmmmm....Well if so then I have been sadly doing it wrong for 42 years.
In my defense I consider myself a very good friend to all I call "Friend" I am pretty picky about that word. I was taught at a very young age that "as you get older the number of true friends you have, can usually be counted on one hand" When I was young I thought it was just another ADULT musing, and then I got old, at about 25, when things got tough in my life journey and I realized "OMG the parental units were right again". So at the old age of 25 I decided to determine what I thought was the definition of a friend and I based this definition on what I wanted from someone I considered a friend. So here goes, my definition of friendship:
1) Complete Honesty: this means exactly what it says...I am honest and say what I mean (in love, not to hurt) so that there is no misunderstanding on my feelings or ideas of circumstances. You will always know where I stand on any issue at any given time if you ask. If you don't ask, I may not volunteer my feelings, but more often than not, I will tell it like it is. If someone asks and I can justify sharing my feelings on any given situation with them....I will and I will not mind if they repeat it to you....if I don't feel justified in sharing I will tell them to MYOB.
2) Complete Loyalty: I will protect, stand by and defend you in any circumstance, whether you are there to witness it or not! I have lost acquiantances because of this and felt no remorse!
3) Complete Respect: I may not always agree with you (I will let you know) I may be scared for you (I will also let you know) but I will always respect the decisions you make for your life! Because "hell, it's your life!". If it turns out to be a bad one, I may say I told you so, but I will always be there to help you get up and start over....all the while saying "see you should have listened to me!!!!" And that will never change the fact that I respect the decisions you make!
So, I will laugh with you, I will cry with you, I will defend you, I will respect you, I will mock you to your face! AND NEAR OR FAR I will always LOVE you!
That wraps up in a nutshell my initial definition of friendship....I've gotten older and added a few things to that....
4) I will not waste valuable time coddling you if you will not accept obvious assistance and continue to place yourself in harms way....I will say goodbye until you make the decision to stop hurting yourself! Then back to #2 I will be there for you unconditionally if you choose to stop hurting yourself and you ask for my help...hell then I'll carry your ass every inch of the way! This is a decision that I make out of self preservation...I cannot live my life in constant fear that the next phone call is from someone telling me you are gone forever!
5) I make concerted effort to maintain contact and if I get no response...oh well there are others that I can bug!
So basically that's why I think I'm a pretty good friend....So for those that understand that there is no compromise....Thank You for being my friend and for those that don't I'm sorry you feel that way! I wish you well and hoep you find that special person you can call friend!
To my BEST Friend, thank you for coming into my life and telling it like it is...Mom was right you are my soul mate and I will always love you! To the rest of you that are my friends, thank you for all that you bring into my life and I wish only good things for all of you and if you find I'm to judgemental...you are probably right....I am but it is who I am and its part of the package!
TTYL
In my defense I consider myself a very good friend to all I call "Friend" I am pretty picky about that word. I was taught at a very young age that "as you get older the number of true friends you have, can usually be counted on one hand" When I was young I thought it was just another ADULT musing, and then I got old, at about 25, when things got tough in my life journey and I realized "OMG the parental units were right again". So at the old age of 25 I decided to determine what I thought was the definition of a friend and I based this definition on what I wanted from someone I considered a friend. So here goes, my definition of friendship:
1) Complete Honesty: this means exactly what it says...I am honest and say what I mean (in love, not to hurt) so that there is no misunderstanding on my feelings or ideas of circumstances. You will always know where I stand on any issue at any given time if you ask. If you don't ask, I may not volunteer my feelings, but more often than not, I will tell it like it is. If someone asks and I can justify sharing my feelings on any given situation with them....I will and I will not mind if they repeat it to you....if I don't feel justified in sharing I will tell them to MYOB.
2) Complete Loyalty: I will protect, stand by and defend you in any circumstance, whether you are there to witness it or not! I have lost acquiantances because of this and felt no remorse!
3) Complete Respect: I may not always agree with you (I will let you know) I may be scared for you (I will also let you know) but I will always respect the decisions you make for your life! Because "hell, it's your life!". If it turns out to be a bad one, I may say I told you so, but I will always be there to help you get up and start over....all the while saying "see you should have listened to me!!!!" And that will never change the fact that I respect the decisions you make!
So, I will laugh with you, I will cry with you, I will defend you, I will respect you, I will mock you to your face! AND NEAR OR FAR I will always LOVE you!
That wraps up in a nutshell my initial definition of friendship....I've gotten older and added a few things to that....
4) I will not waste valuable time coddling you if you will not accept obvious assistance and continue to place yourself in harms way....I will say goodbye until you make the decision to stop hurting yourself! Then back to #2 I will be there for you unconditionally if you choose to stop hurting yourself and you ask for my help...hell then I'll carry your ass every inch of the way! This is a decision that I make out of self preservation...I cannot live my life in constant fear that the next phone call is from someone telling me you are gone forever!
5) I make concerted effort to maintain contact and if I get no response...oh well there are others that I can bug!
So basically that's why I think I'm a pretty good friend....So for those that understand that there is no compromise....Thank You for being my friend and for those that don't I'm sorry you feel that way! I wish you well and hoep you find that special person you can call friend!
To my BEST Friend, thank you for coming into my life and telling it like it is...Mom was right you are my soul mate and I will always love you! To the rest of you that are my friends, thank you for all that you bring into my life and I wish only good things for all of you and if you find I'm to judgemental...you are probably right....I am but it is who I am and its part of the package!
TTYL
posted by Anonymous at 1:13 pm
1 Comments:
like mother like daughter...you go mama dukes. Stand up for what you believe, always, and quit doubting yourself so much! geeze.
Loving daughter #2
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