Saturday, February 16, 2013

What happens when your husband becomes your best friend.....

Recently I got an email that suggested that a woman would be wise to ensure her relationships with her girlfriends were chosen wisely and maintained.  I wish that I had gotten that email when I was 30 years younger. 

I have always said I hate people....well it turns out that I really don't hate people...I am simply very judgemental and I make very quick decisions about the people I meet.   The psychic (couple of posts back) knew this about me.  She confirmed that as I get older I am a little more open to giving people more than one chance before I form an opinion, but my old way of snap judgement was and still is quite accurate.  I read people very well.   I would say that because of all of this I don't have very many friends.  I have a ton of acquaintances.  These are people that I have met through work, playing pool and just generally trying to be friendly in my everday life.  I take an interest in their life if they choose to share, I show interest when we meet but in reality they are simply just people I know. 

I have a handful of people that I call FRIEND.  These are people that I love and would give them my left tit if that's what they needed! (and I love my left tit, it has character!!)  Now here's where we have contradiction and the reason for my post. 

Over the years, Hubby has become my best friend. I can tell him anything, he accepts me for all my faults....he gets me but I miss spending time with girlfriends.

FB is a great social media but the one thing it does for people like me is make me feel left out sometimes.  I see my friends out with other girls (ladies that I also am acquainted with) having fun, laughing and wonder why they didn't think of including me.  It's true I don't reach out because I don't want to impose.  I have a huge fear of imposing on people and I'm thinking that it makes me stand offish perhaps!  I always think there must be some reason I wasn't included.  Now don't get me wrong....I spend time with my friends when they ask.  I just don't like to impose on them.   I offer that if they ever want to make plans they just kids are all grown up, I can do stuff at a moments notice.   I wonder sometimes  if it's the 10+ year difference that I have with the woman I know or just that because we are in different places in our lives they just don't think to include me.   I'm not going to lie, it makes me sad to see the good times that are being had without me.  It makes me wonder at times how I fit into their lives.   Seriously it is my hope that it`s my own foolish insecurities that are tugging at my emotions today because last night I did something that is so outside of my character!

Last night I saw that a couple of my friends were going out with a lady that someday I hope to get to know well enough to consider a friend cause she's awesome.  I was overwhelmed with a sense of sadness.  It might have been because Hubby and I were arguing over stupid ass life stuff!  Anyway, although I was already in my pj's, I went out on a limb and said a prayer that one of my friends would see the sad little face I posted as a comment and invite me out.  The awesome lady that I hope to someday know well enough to call friend actually invited me to crash their little party.   My first reaction to her invite was to tell her I was in pj's and fighting with hubby so maybe not great company...I was having second thoughts that I had now imposed myself on these three ladies that had planned an evening out.  My insecurites kicked in...(insert take lorazepam here) Her reaction was to say I fit right in and come out.  I was really excited.  I got dressed and headed out to a very fun night.  We had such a good time giggling and acting like school girls!  We closed one restaurant and moved to another all night coffee place to chat some more.     It was a great time!  One that I hope to experience again!!

Hopefully I can get over my own insecurities and start to enhance the relationships I have with all the women in my life!



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