Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Learning How to Pray

I believe in God.  I believe that God answers prayer.  I believe that God has a purpose for me and it is my responsibility to sit quietly and listen for guidance.

I was baptized Catholic. I went to Catholic school and don't remember a thing I learned in cathecism.  As a family we never attended church.

My faith was born in my summer vacations spent with an Aunt that was strong in the basis of Christianity that she explored over the years in many different faiths.   I experienced the fire of the spirit at bible camps.  I experienced kindness and sense of goodness with my cousins that welcomed me into their lives each summer.  They shared their lives and their parents with me and made me feel welcome.

Mine is a quiet faith. I don't need to blast it to everyone I know.  Over the years I have not attended any church.  I have chosen to practice my faith quietly in my home, amongst my friends and family without them even knowing.  I have chosen to be the best mother, wife and friend I can be and that isn't always great but it is the best I can as a human.  I have made mistakes and I have hurt people sometimes without meaning to and other times on purpose in retaliation for a hurt they have bestowed upon me. I am human.

My prayers have always started with thanking God for all that I have been blessed with.  I have a wonderful husband, three beautiful daughters, a beautiful grandson, wonderful parents that are relatively healthy and a life that many would be envious of. 

In the last year I have found that I am learning how to pray with fervor while doing all the other things that life requires, like work and doing chores.  Some might call it multi-tasking....I call it reaching out to God for inner peace and healing.    My heart has been heavy with all of the things the people I love most in the world are going through.  My father went through some health issues that were so scary for both him and my Mom.  Dad thankfully pulled through without complication.     My Hubby and Children spent 4 weeks being scared for me and a brush with the Big C.   One friend has had to say goodbye to a child and another her spouse.  I have questioned God....Why, what is the purpose of bringing such enormous pain into these peoples lives?  WTF!  Yes, I'm human and it angers me....to this I ask for understanding.   I have cried so many tears for these folks in the quietness of the night.  I'm not a demonstrative person...in public I put on my big girl pants and do what needs to be done I support where I can and do what needs to be done.  Lend a hand and a shoulder.   

2013 has not started off well for me and my friends and family.   I have been experiencing some challenges with my current employment, my middle daughter is struggling to finish her PHd and my best friend is going through one of the most challenging life experiences ever.   I am learning to pray while working, playing, sleeping, eating, breathing and everything else that I do on a day to day basis.  I pray that I find understanding in God's plan for us all.  I pray for healing.  I pray for a MIRACLE!!!!

I am blessed.
Thank You God!

2 Comments:

Blogger MP said...

My mom is rolling over in her grave.. I think I'm becoming a Methodist.. who really cares though.. at least mind is renewed.. I was in a rut..

1:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow....Linda just reading your blogs....you write with such honesty and heart. Thanks for posting. Keep your chin up and keep doing your happy dance! ;)

1:29 PM  

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